I just read this op ed over at the
LA Times from yesterday, I guess I must have missed it in my daily travels.
"I didn't enlist, and maybe I lack the conviction of soldiers in Iraq. Or do they lack my good fortune?" By Oren Rawls
It's a definite must read for all of those that sit in the generation gap that is the all volunteer army as I do, and feel that tension between doing what is right morally and what is seen as a definitive aspect of becoming a man.
I myself grew up in a very much conservative background. My father was drafted and served in the army leaving with his green beret. Both my grandfathers served during WWI and WWII one in the army, and the other in the navy. My one grandfather passed away recently and at his funeral we all remembered a story he used to tell avidly when he met a fellow vet or at the American legion bar, see he lived all his life in Brooklyn and had that Italian charisma that could create a friend in an instant. His infamous story was that of a day when he was to be inspected by a commanding officer and his roommate lost his socks, how he did this I don't know but he did. My grandfather told him not to worry and gave him one of his own leaving himself missing a sock and his roommate put on the other. It was funny I can remember him telling the story "Don"t worry, they only ask you to pull up one leg to check to see if you have standard issued socks, pull up one leg and I'll do the same." They both got away with it and ended up back in Brooklyn and shared a beer and a laugh in a bar in East New York.
My great uncle wasn't so lucky he served in the army, as a member of the 82nd airborne he was taken prisoner by the Germans during WWII leaving him partly deaf. My other great uncle went to West Point and graduated to become a Colonel and went on to do things, well things that went on in Latin America that went on.
My father fulfilled his quota when the Vietnam draft came around. He enlisted when drafted and did his first tour of duty as a member of the army infantry. He finished his duty and returned to the states and took the Green Beret selection test passing it and after a stint at Bragg become a Green Beret serving another term in Vietnam and other as he called "shitty places in the vicinity".
And then I was born. I never thought about war more than wearing my fathers helmet he had saved from his days in the army. Although I was born during the Cold War it was the end. The fear of nuclear annihilating wasn't like that of the post WWII era. Reagan and his dreams of star wars and tough rhetoric was transparent. I grew up went to grade school through Bush I and Clinton and graduated high school in 1998 a time of peace. There was no need to enlist in the army the world was at peace. The economic boom was felt every Christmas and off I went to college.
As I did this other chose another route like a friend of mine Jon. He grew up around the corner from me. We went to school together, rode bikes, played stickball and little league, but he had a sense of a calling, or was it just a feeling that he needed to continue on the footsteps of his family which was a mirror image of mine. I don't know, but for whatever reason he did. He ended up doing 5 years active duty and was a part of the initial invasion in Iraq. When he returned he spoke little about his adventure in the desert, only of the fact that war is a sight that you wishes upon noone.
After 9/11 occurred my friends and I sat in a bar in our hometown. It was a sort of a meeting place for the neighborhood. See every New Yorker has a family member or a friend with a family member who died that day, so well all sat around waiting for information. As we sat there drinking our beers we thought about Jon serving. He was already a marine, a hero even though he didn't know it. I can remember this moment clear to this day. My buddy Chris sat and stared at us and said their is no reason why Jonny should be going to the Middle East to protect us as we sat around drinking beers. Two days later he enlisted and I didn't.
Chris went off to become a Marine and I went off to finish up my schooling. I became a news junkie completely obsessed with the Middle East, wondering what would become of my friends, tracking the movements of the US military. With this I formulated my voice of dissent. I was angered at the fact that our resources were being taken away from the forefront, Afghanistan, and going to go to Iraq. I felt that my friends that were fighting against al Qa'ida were being torn of their ability to save us from terrorism, when the reality was that they were sitting in Qatar waiting to invade Iraq.
I sat at home constantly in inner turmoil over whether or not if I should join the army and fight against the tyranny that stood in the way of our freedom. I chose not too.
My friend Jon came home and Chris stayed. A few months ago Chris was injured in combat in Iraq. For a while we all thought he was dead. As we all sat around in the bar wondering about Chris's fate we all got gun ho and were ready to enlist. I fell asleep before making it to the recruiting station.
As I sit here now I wonder about what would happen if I wouldn't have fallen asleep. I would probably be sitting in Iraq right now scared shit, fighting a war that I didn't believe in solely to honor my friends and my family. Do I have the conviction to fight for my country and my family if needed? Yes. If the need is there I will stand next to you at the weight in. However, this war is not, and luckily I have had the good fortune of not having to have fought. I do honor my friends and will stand up to the first guy that spits in there face for what they have done and do honor my family that fought before me. I just hope that others that share in my perdicament understand that they do not need to prove themselves by going against their convictions.
And there is my late night rant
Cross Posted at The Middle Eastern Dilemma